Top of the pots
08/05/86 (Janice Long & John Peel)
The Cure – “Boys Don’t Cry” (23)
It's a live show tonight and The Cure break off with a tune that went up one more place.
Patti LaBelle & Michael McDonald – “On My Own” (4) (video)
On its way to number 2.
Matchroom Mob with Chas & Dave – “Snooker Loopy” (37) (with video inserts)
Perhaps not their greatest song, but nevertheless it's a timely tribute to Chas Hodges, with what became their fourth and final top ten hit when it peaked at number 6.
Force MDs – “Tender Love” (34) (breaker)
Their only hit, peaking at number 23.
Van Halen – “Why Can’t This Be Love?” (22) (breaker)
Their second and final top ten hit, peaking at number 8.
Peter Gabriel – “Sledgehammer” (15) (breaker)
Our first glancing shot of this celebrated video, the song peaked at number 4.
Spitting Image – “The Chicken Song” (11) (video)
About to pot themselves a number one.
Billy Ocean – “There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)” (27)
Another studio appearance from Billy who chalked up his ninth top twenty hit when this one peaked at number 12.
Falco – “Rock Me Amadeus” (1) (rpt from 03/04/86)
Finally pocketing the top spot, but only for one week.
Whitney Houston – “The Greatest Love Of All” (10) (video/audience dancing/credits)
Nudged up two more places.
May 15th is next, but it's another Mike Smith edition.
I watched this show as ‘live’ for a change. Respect due to the announcer for her big-up of Chas Hodges in her pre-show announcement.
ReplyDeleteNo big-up, though, for the now customary out of vision opening intro and canned applause, and also for Robert Smith turning away from the mic and missing his cue (boom boom tish) during the first chorus of one of The Cure’s absolute best. Not such a live show after all, then, Janice.
Good of Patti and Michael to send a video which sounded distorted at the start. What an utterly depressing song. From memory both vocalists were ‘on my own’ as they recorded their parts in different studios / countries / whatever. I didn’t know there was a tribute Battersea Power Station in America!
From one extreme to another with the snooker song. Only Dave left of the trio now, sadly. The line “We’ll show you what we can do with a load of balls” seems apt.
An unfortunate mis-spelling of Suzanne Vaga in the rundown (reminds me of when a work colleague once misspelt an American State as Vaginia), and Janice still can’t bring herself to mention the title of Sam Fox’s hit. Oo! The B52’s!
I don’t know what the inhabitants of number 239 thought of all those loiterers on their steps, but I do have a soft spot for this lovely little Force MD’s track.
I guess (well, it looks pretty obvious) David Lee Roth had left Van Halen by this point. The line “Only time will tell if we stand the test of time” is so bad it’s actually poetic.
I take it we had a problem with Eastern European fruit at this point in time? A wonderful groundbreaking video for Peter Gabriel’s song which I only recently realised is a paean to, erm, what’s also nicknamed ‘trains and tunnels’.
Spitting Image with a ‘song’ and video of its time. One of my close mates’ middle names is Keith so he doesn’t really have to pretend.
The return of Lionel Ocean with “There’ll Be This Song To Make You Wince”, sponsored by Tate & Lyle Syrup.
That’s easy for you to say, Falco. An Austrian act at number ein in the UK? Eat that, Opus!
It's the shrieker again. Whitney, give us a break. Boom boom tish!
Dave Lee Roth had quit Van Halen the previous year, with Sammy Hagar brought in to replace him.
Deletesammy hagar had had a reasonably successful solo career for several years up to that point (having originally made his name as singer in montrose), so joining van halen was a bit of a surprise. i remember he was also renowned for his ability to do dozens of single-arm press-ups!
DeleteThe 'eastern european' fruit might have been a reference to Chernobyl, which had gone bang a week or so before.
Deletethanks angelo for the opportunity to remind readers of jools holland's classic then-topical joke on "the tube": what happens when you wear russian underpants? chernobyl fallout!
Delete:-)
DeleteI needed a 'rest' after that.
ReplyDeleteI see the next edition's been blackballed!
cure: i can hardly claim to be their greatest fan, but this came back quite clearly to me once i started listening. so i'm a bit surprised to learn it never even made the top 20. lol's still hanging on in there, this time given a guitar to mime on. blimey, there are actually a few backing harmony vocals half way through
ReplyDeletelabelle/macdonald: have you noticed this recent rash of duets seem to be credited as "featuring" rather than "and" - presumably because those concerned are pretending to be lovers rather than real ones? very smooth, and perhaps a bit too smooth to suit the unique vocal style of michael. certainly too smooth for my liking
chas & dave/matchroom mob: by this time barry hearn had signed up most of the big names of snooker (plus tony meo) under his management, but it always amused me that there was one glaring omission in the pantheon in the form of alex higgins - i don't know how accurately the non-relationship between hearn and higgins was portrayed in that recent tv drama based on the game's golden era, but i suspect alien and predator would probably get along better than that pair. fairly standard c&d fare to my ears, but for some reason i was imagining someone like dennis taylor to have a line a la ossie ardiles "win the cup for tott-ing-ham"
force md's: i'm guessing this is a breaker that won't get seen again? as i suspected this is a jam & lewis job, but hardly one of their best. and it doesn't help giving your group a tough name and then releasing a somewhat sickly ballad like this either
spitting image: i wonder how many people bought this not knowing it was actually a piss-take of the black lace-meets-spanish package holiday drivel? i much preferred their parodies of the likes of grace jones (the puppets were never credited with joke names, but if so then i would have gone for grace clone) and dire straits (what else but dire rear ho ho)
lionel rich - sorry, billy ocean: nothing more to say really
I always thought that Barry Hearn commercialised everything in his path, from a simple club game like snooker to a pub game like darts. This would probably have been against the grain of someone like Alex Higgins who certainly didn't need someone like Hearn taking over snooker for his own financial gain, not being a snooker player.
DeleteBack to the music, and I think Chas & Dave didn't need to sing this one in the TOTP studio when the video featured more than the singers themselves. I didn't like the video being interrupted every 20 seconds or so to see Chas & Dave in the TOTP studio with none of the snooker players appearing with them on that studio stage.
I don't know much about Barry Hearn, mainly that a lot of people absolutely detest him as the worst kind of spiv. I was chatting with a friend the other night about his appearance on 5 Live's Sunday show last week where he got into an argument on air. Who the hell wants to hear him do that on a Sunday morning? Or ever?
DeleteHe is a money-machine, driven by money 24 hours a day. Money in his morning coffee, toothpaste and underwear. If asked what keeps him up at night, the likely answer would be how to get more money than he has already accumulated in 40 years.
DeleteHis son Eddie Hearn is now prominent on Sky Sports on boxing promotions, most notable when Anthony Joshua is performing, while dad Barry he reclined a bit to concentrate on snooker and darts. Don't know which Hearn is doing the football work though.
i did find it somewhat amusing when barry hearn tried to muscle-in on boxing as a result of his snooker success. perhaps it was no coincidence that his activities there were short-lived, thanks to competing against someone like frank warren? a similar thing happened with spurs fc around that time, in that the then-manager and hearn's fellow cock-er-nee wide-boy terry venables tried to take on the club chairman alan sugar - and there was only ever going to be one winner in that particular contest!
DeleteThe Janice & John double act returns, though there didn't seem to be quite as much chemistry between them on this occasion, Janice appearing a little too keen to push on with the show in a couple of the links rather than doing the normal bantering with her co-host. Peel was relaxed and nonchalant here, and his Van Halen put-down was a classic.
ReplyDeleteThe Cure first, with one of their best tunes and Robert Smith looking particularly creepy with that unnerving half-smile. Strange that a number as pretty and melodic as this missed out on a Top 20 placing. If Mr Smith is scary, Patti LaBelle looks ten times more so in this video - not a lady you would like to cross, methinks. She has an extravagant wardrobe on display for this rather ponderous ballad which is much-loved by my parents but has always struck me as being quite boring. I don't think it helps that Michael McDonald's voice, while technically excellent, for me lacks genuine soul and emotion - as for Patti, give me Lady Marmalade any day...
As Angelo has already mentioned, timely that Chas & Dave's snooker anthem should turn up at this juncture. I have never been a fan, but they could certainly write a catchy tune and, like or loathe it, this is certainly memorable. As a kid I watched quite a lot of snooker in its 80s golden age, so I have always been quite fond of this one, though they would have done better to stop the "Matchroom Mob" from singing! Apparently Alex Higgins hated it, as for him it summed up the sanitisation and commercialisation of snooker by Barry Hearn, who got his stable of players to appear on the record, and of course appears in the video himself. Incidentally, TOTP would have done better just to show the video, as the intercutting with the studio performance doesn't work at all for me.
The Force MDs won't be on again, which is a relief as they sound and look, on the basis of the video clip, as a model for 90s boy bands to follow. The group are evidently trying to pose as street-corner doo-wop singers, but it looks really fake and cringeworthy. The Chicken Song often seems to get lumped in with other novelty songs and excoriated as much as they are, which to my mind overlooks the fact that it is a deliberately bad parody of such records, particularly the Black Lace oeuvre. I loved it at the time for the lyrics, and they still make me laugh today - I discovered many years later that they were written by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor, who subsequently created Red Dwarf, one of my favourite sitcoms. The b-side, I Never Met a Nice South African, is more bitingly satirical and probably funnier, but I don't imagine the Beeb gave it any airplay at the time. Spitting Image itself was in its pomp back then, and probably peaked the following year with the 1987 election special.
Billy is back in balladeering mode and drops the band for this latest studio appearance, but this is bland, forgettable production line fare, only enlivened marginally by him speaking the final word live. Falco finally climbs to the top, but not for long, and Whitney gets to shout over the credits for the second time.
Speaking of Red Dwarf, my favourite line comes from an episode where Kryten the mechanoid is about to be shut down, with the cessation of all mental and physical functions. When asked what he can do, he says "I might be able to get a job as a disc jockey!"
Deletei have a friend who always sneeringly dismisses any deejay that might be mentioned in conversation as "a man who plays records"!
Delete(Puts hand up meekly) If you're doing it properly, there is a little bit more to it than that, you know! Admittedly these days radio presenters (as we prefer to be called) aren't actually allowed to have much of a personality....
Deletei've done a bit of deejaying myself in my time, so i know there's a bit more to it than just playing records. i think the point my friend was trying to make was that the sleb ones get vastly over-rewarded in terms of fame and money for doing what is not exactly rocket science, or something that many of us couldn't do ourselves just as well given the opportunity
DeleteHere's the 15th May show, though I'm not sure who we have to thank for the download:
ReplyDeletehttps://wetransfer.com/downloads/e23e4a96de3b226b19b12dc128a81eb420180927182239/ce0a60
Nice one :-)
DeleteWould you believe Chas and Dave and The Matchroom Mob released a follow-up in 1987? By this time The Mob had augmented their ranks with Jimmy White, the Ivan Lendl of snooker (i.e. came close many times but undeservedly never won the big one) and, erm, Neal Foulds, and the amalgamation had moved to Rainbow Records, home of Su Pollard. "Romford Rap" was dreadful and apparently scraped the top 100. The B-side was Chas and Dave's new theme tune for "Crackerjack". CRACKERJACK!!!!
ReplyDeletei suppose if you view wimbledon as the equivalent of the world snooker championship, then yes ivan lendl was the eternal bridesmaid of tennis in the 80's. but unlike in snooker the other three major tennis championships are considered of equal stature, and as a hard court specialist lendl was never likely to win at sw19 (although he did the others at least twice). also he was the antithesis of jimmy white in that he was renowned for being making the most of what ability he had (which was nowhere near as naturally good as his rivals mcenroe and becker) via a dedicated if not fanatical mental and physical disciplinary regime, whilst jimmy basically pissed his god-given talent down the drain!
DeleteMention of Ivan Lendl on a Spitting Image episode reminds me of their puppet of him: a horrific zombie!
Deletei can't remember the lendl puppet, but i would have thought modelling him on the terminator would have been appropriate?
DeleteThe Lendl puppet was a joke in one of the Spitting Image books, which were great spin-offs from when comedy shows did tie-in books.
DeleteI do remember the 'Romford Rap' very well - I think the video got an airing on Saturday Superstore (or possibly Going Live by then?) and the lyrics are...erm...probably a little bit dubious to modern ears whatever you think of the tune.
DeleteHas ironing been banned in the Smith household, Robert? State of him. Anyway, as mentioned it seems like a bigger hit than it was, given the amount of airplay it still gets, and as an indie "answer song" to the Four Seasons' Big Girls Don't Cry it's about as memorable, i.e. classic 80s indie disco material.
ReplyDeleteIncredibly distracting video for Patti and Michael, where some bright spark thought, "With editing we can make them look together in the same shot and miles apart simultaneously!" only for it all to fall apart in the cutting room. Mind you, considering what a tedious glumfest this song is, maybe distractions are preferable. Patti was in the headlines recently when the notorious Fox News used a photo of her to illustrate the death of Aretha Franklin this year. I guess black people really do all look alike to some folks.
With eerie synchronicity, the curse of the TOTP repeats strikes again, they couldn't have timed it better, could they? Not Chas and Dave's finest moment, especially when the director is more enamoured of their star-studded video than the duo in the studio, but who hasn't played a frame of snooker and remembered the order of the balls to pot by humming this? I bet the top players do it all the time! What a beautiful voice Dennis Taylor has.
Force MDs aren't my usual cup of tea (and were they practicing doctors like Instant Sunshine?), but this is a rather lovely, pleasingly simple ditty invoking the doo-wop street corner sound, in video as well as sound. Slicker than a lot of those records, but very relaxing in its own right. Van Halen seem miles apart on stage, then this was the first time I'd seen Peter Gabriel's Aardman video for Sledgehammer and as a toon fan I was captivated.
The Chicken Song is in a curious position in that it was a novelty song taking the piss out of novelty songs (Black Lace in particular) that became an actual novelty song. As Kurt Vonnegut said in Mother Night, "Be careful who you pretend to be, for we are who we pretend to be".
Billy Ocean with a difficult to get excited about follow up to his biggest hit, sounds a bit Barry Manilow in fact, and not necessarily in a good way. But he has ironed his suit, eh, Bob?
Falco make it to Number One, took his time about it and all, now bring on Vienna Calling to shut up those who keep saying he was a one hit wonder.
Then Whitney, whose dignity was well and truly taken away a few years later, no matter what the lyrics to this say. Liked the couple under the credits trying out a kid-on slow dance to this.
going by bob's make up, i think mirrors were also banned in the smith household! also thx i can't believe that you've never seen the iconic gabriel video before? to my recollection you couldn't turn on the telly without seeing it when it was a hit
DeleteNo, I meant way back in '86 this episode is where I first had a glimpse of the Peter Gabriel video. Sorry, didn't word that very well.
DeleteI also noticed the slow dancing to the Whitney playout by the studio audience underneath the video. You would never have had this from the studio audience on the playout a few months before, as the playout was always only a disco dancing tune.
DeleteIncidentally, 80s nostalgia fans should look out for the TV Years magazine covering the decade, I'm halfway through it and it's a great mixture of the familiar and "oh, yeah, I'd forgotten that!" Packs a lot into what looks like a relatively slim volume. Recommended!
ReplyDeleteWell, not a bad showing tonight. Very disappointing that the St John’s College School Choir and the Band of the Grenadier Guards had dropped out of the top40 as I was looking forward to hearing that on the Breakers and savouring it’s lyrical and musical delights; “We saw your horse of course of course, parade the Palace yard”. Sheer poetry! Actually, joking apart, the proceeds of this did go to a worthy charity, but it obviously didn’t raise much cash…
ReplyDeleteNo fewer than four US Chart toppers on show on this one…
The Cure – Boys don’t Cry – Big Boys? Pretty Boys? Actually not bad for Smithy and co.
Patti Labelle and Michael McDonald – On my Own – US#1 Fabulous song written by Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sagar. Originally just a Labelle solo track, then McDonald added some vocals about ¾ of the way through which sounded so good the producers (who were the writers) got him to add more through the song. Vocals and video were recorded/shot in isolation.
Matchroom Mob / Chas and Dave – Snooker Loopy – Barry Hearn’s lot if I am not mistaken as there is no Jimmy White nor the 1986 champion Joe Johnson, who memorably beat Steve Davis in the final. Nice song to appear now as a tribute to Chas.
Breakers – Force MDs – Tender Love. Nope, don’t recall this, but our lovelorn lads don’t sound too bad. Van Halen – Why can’t this be love – I can’t make my mind up which Bucks Fizz song this is supposed to sound like, but our flirty hosts seem to be in on the joke. Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer – Hated this when I first heard it. Solsbury Hill this ain’t. However, it grew on me, and I still love it, and of course the innovative (for the time) video.
Spitting Image – The Chicken Song – So was this ripped off from Agadoo? The credits are to Philip Pope for the music. Looking at the Black Lace label, there is no song writing credit at all? Anyway, a throwaway song which, like ‘Living Doll’ somehow caught the mood of the nation. No sign of my favourite puppet; Steve ‘Interesting’ Davis.
Billy Ocean – They’ll be sad songs (to make you cry) – US#1 Brackets again Wilberforce, but another great ballad from Billy.
Falco – Rock me Amadeus –US#1 Deserved a shot at the top 10 after George plummeted to no6. Memorable for being different.
Whitney Houston – Greatest Love of all US#1 At this point I switched off.
I agree that the Patti Labelle & Michael McDonald duet was nothing less than fabulous. It is one of the best ballads of all time in my opinion, and easily the best one of 1986. Already at No.4, and it seemed that McDonald was somewhere on the West Coast like California, and Labelle on the East Coast (looks like Chicago to me), hence McDonald on the left side of the screen, and Labelle on the right, ie, West is left and East is right. Credit to TOTP for playing 4 minutes of the 5 minute video, and we don't know if they were reunited at the end of the video. Need to watch it in full on Utube to find out!
DeletePhilip Pope was also the male vocal on The Chicken Song. He also played the singer with a speech impediment in a classic Only Fools and Horses episode (cwying).
ReplyDeleteThe female vocalist is none other than Kate (“More Than in Love”) Robbins.
Neil Kinnock was the best of the Spitting Image puppets on that Chicken Song video. His long nose was a bit exaggerated, as it looked very long on the puppet, and about a centimetre short of his actual nose size in real life.
DeleteThe great thing about the Spitting Image puppets is you could always tell who they were meant to be. They didn't explain the Lord Lucan or the black Enoch Powell, you just got the joke right away.
DeleteThe Story Of 86 documentary told us that it was in fact Philip Pope's fellow 'Radio Active' and 'KYTV' partner Michael Fenton-Stevens who was asked to sing it, though I had always assumed it was Philip Pope. If you recell, he said how he went for royalties rather than an upfront fee as Kate Robbins did and coined it in as a result!
DeleteJust noticed in the top 40 rundown that Rock Lobster was a new entry. I think this was first released in 1979 though, and this new entry in 1986 must have been a re-release for some unknown reason.
ReplyDeleteAlso the Force MD's new entry one place above at no.34 had a stunning couple in love on the rundown photo, and I was expecting a steamy couple on the video, but the clip we saw on the Breakers looked more like the studio set of Sesame Street, with the guy in the yellow jacket in the video looking like Big Bird in that yellow attire. As far as the song goes, I remember it at the time, and I really liked it. Need to see the video in full to find out if the couple on the rundown photo were also in the video.
So in memory of Chas Hodges we enter the world of May 1986 TOTP with probably the song I most associate with them due to our family watching the snooker a lot and myself and my Mum owning "snooker loopy". Mum is also a mad Spurs fan so she has a love of those awful Tottenham songs they churned out occasionally. A real talent (personally thought their Stars on 45 take-off was brilliant)
ReplyDeleteRIP
Janice and John hooray! Live hooray!
Sideshow Bob up first with Boys Don't Cry. Not a song I think of when I think of The Cure but always enjoy it when I hear it. The studio lighting doesn't help RS and makes him look all washed out. Short song as well.
Patti and Michael already at Number 4! Patti has the same hairdresser as Tina Turner. This is a lovely ballad. Not one that gets much attention these days but it is a lovely tune and well performed. The fact they are not together in the video actually works in it's favour, even if it goes all Dallas title sequence at the end.
Chas and Dave with spot the snooker player...think I could name them all.
Fab tune, proper singalong song that they did so well. Classic
Breakers:
Force MDs - never heard of them, then the song started and I remembered it. Must be a one hit wonder. Not sure them trying to dance to a slow song was the best idea for a video.
An old Bucks Fizz song next..can you imagine it! Van Halen with the standard metal concert video. Good song though. Worse than a Bucks Fizz song Peelie..how dare you..
Now the best video of the year (if not the 80s). So clever and memorable, A great song as well really helps. This and Steam are probably my 2 favourite PG tracks.
Novelty alert - Spitting Image a playground favourite and naturally banned in our house..good job Dad played Squash on a Thursday night.
What was Peelie going to say about Mr Ocean (ha ha). Tend to forget how many hits he had and how many great songs he recorded. This isn't as good as Suddenly but still a nice song. Nice to see him on stage on his own again..
Falco gets it's week in the sun. Fabulous.
Whitney gets the playout.
A great show, really helps having great hosts to push it all along.