Friday 16 February 2018

Top of the Pops Wants to Rule the World

Be prepared to surrender to the music as this live edition of Top of the Pops from the 11th of April 1985 marches across the television airwaves and invades your western front rooms!

Hello, is it Mars you're looking for?


11/04/85  (Janice Long & John Peel)

Tears For Fears – “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” (3)
The show gets underway and the song went up one more place.

USA For Africa – “We Are The World” (7) (video)
Will be number one next week. But edited out of tonight's 7.30pm broadcast.

The Rah Band – “Clouds Across The Moon” (18)
The second of two eccentric top ten hits, both of which peaked at number 6 - their first one being The Crunch eight years earlier.

Foreigner – “That Was Yesterday” (39) (breaker)
With their final top 30 hit, which peaked at number 28.

Billy Connolly – “Super Gran” (34) (breaker)
His fourth and final top 40 hit, the theme tune for the tv series, it went up two more places.

China Crisis – “Black Man Ray” (32) (breaker)
Peaked at number 14.

Phil Collins – “One More Night” (27) (breaker)
The fifth of thirteen top ten hits for busy Phil Collins, this one peaking at number 4.

The Dream Academy – “Life In A Northern Town” (25)
This atmospheric anthem was their only top 40 hit and it peaked at number 15.

King – “Won’t You Hold My Hand Now” (24)
An energetic follow up to Love and Pride but it got no higher than number 24.

Philip Bailey & Phil Collins – “Easy Lover” (1) (video)
Fourth and final week at number one.

Pat Benatar – “Love Is A Battlefield” (23) (audience dancing/credits)
Peaked at number 17.


Tears and Frankie talk Life in a Northern Town 


Next up is April 18th, but its a Mike Smith edition, so won't be shown on BBC4.

58 comments:

  1. My favourite presenting duo back again!

    Tears for Fears – Everybody wants to rule the world – Timeless classic proving once again that the best records don’t always get to no1. I played the ‘Running’ version the other day as I hadn’t heard it for years and it’s a nice mix actually, not just a dub over one word.

    USA for Africa – We are the World – Possibly the worst charity record ever for me. Almost unbearable to listen to. Admirable sentiments however, but worthy chart topper? (see Tears for Fears above). But mercifully cut out of the 19:30 with a very clunky edit.

    Rah Band – Clouds across the Moon – Or should that read the real Rah Band (Richard Anthony Hewson)? When the 1977 hit ‘The Crunch’ was a chart success it was a fabulous, unusual sound that was widely appreciated and still sounds great now. Even a strange live Top of the Pops appearance by some guys led by a balaclava, fingerless glove wearing lead keyboard player named Andy Clark couldn’t diminish the record’s appeal. This however, was another kettle of fish entirely, and not in a good way! The backing singers look like two Movellans from the Tom Baker Dr Who story ‘Destiny of the Daleks’ whilst is that an Auton dancing and speaking the robot parts? Truly awful and unrecognisable as the same band.

    Dream Academy – Life in a Northern Town – A refreshing and unusual record that I rushed out and bought at the time. Dedicated to the late, tragic Nick Drake who released just three albums including the excellent ‘Bryter Layter’. The band here (led by Nick Laird-Clowes) are really enjoying themselves with the kettle drum player bashing away and some nice Cor Anglais from Kate St John. It works so well this song, especially where the instrumentation stops near the end and it is just the singing before coming back in again, reminding me a bit of a certain no1 single from late 1973.

    Breakers. John might have hated Foreigner by his mocking but ‘That was Yesterday’ proved they were no one trick pony in the ballad stakes with a great follow up single. Phil Collins has replaced his paint pot with an empty glass of water – progress? China Crisis with another memorable single and finally the Billy Connolly song is R.U.B.B.I.S.H

    King – Won’t hold my hand now – I don’t recall this but it’s not bad. Quite short though.

    Chart rundown. This is the flirtiest, most humorous rundown ever! These two really had a chemistry when presenting together and it’s wonderful to watch/listen to. I especially enjoyed John’s sarcastic “REO Speedwagon and can’t FIGHT this feeling” but didn’t share his enthusiasm for Frankie.

    Phil Bailey and Phil Collins – Easy Lover - …and some classics did get to no1! We’ve been treated on this each week as they’ve shown most of the video each time.

    Pat Benatar – Love is a Battlefield playout – Great way to playout. Worthy re-release hit.

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    1. The Rah Band performance in the TOTP studio was a throwback to the late 70s in dress, attire, soothing sound, etc, and very much like the 1978 TOTP studio performance of Automatic Lover by D.D.Jackson, if anyone remembers it. It also had a robot on stage with the lead singer.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWh7ibuffek


      Life In A Northern Town by Dream Academy was surely the inspiration for Bucks Fizz's 1986 comeback hit called New Beginning (Mamba Sayra). Don't you think it sounds like Life In A Northern Town:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI3KoQj8jDk


      My favourite part of the chart rundown was not the flirting between the hosts, but rather when Peel got to No.2 in the rundown, and said 'the EXCELLENT Frankie Goes To Hollywood still at no.2." I really didn't know he was such a fan of Frankie GTH.

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    2. Force 8 (aka The Dooleys) released New Beginning in 85.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBDSh_jGcwQ

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    3. Good Lord, I didn't know that The Dooleys in any shape or form were still around in the music business as late as 1985

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    4. According to 45cat and Wikipedia, "New Beginning" was the last single The Dooleys released under any name.

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    5. re sct's comment on "we are the world": is there actually such a thing as a good charidee record?

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    6. Spooky world we live in... I was sitting in Costa this morning enjoying my coffee, then what comes on their music selection but 'One of these things first' from Nick Drake's 'Bryter Layter'. Boy the coffee tasted even better with that sublime accompaniment!

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    7. sct you have reminded me that an acquaintance of mine started up a coffee shop a few years back, and actually called it "bryter latte"! sadly it didn't last too long, one reason being presumably most who passed by without actually going in were not nick drake fans and thus didn't get it?

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    8. also spooky sct in that i made my own unrelated reference to nick drake in my review... without having read yours first!

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    9. I think there have been some decent charity records, such as the Let it Be, Ferry Cross the Mersey and Knockin' on Heaven's Door. All covers but done ok.

      With Nick Drake I like Five Leaves Left the most, just the right arrangement, not too sparse and not overdone.

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    10. The greatest charity record of all time is Let's Clean Up the Ghetto by The Philadelphia All-Stars. Nothing else comes close - charity covers are uniformly diabolical.

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    11. Let's Clean Up The Ghetto one of my faves as well. Brilliant 'groove' :-)

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    12. i agree with thx that "let's clean up the ghetto" is in a different league to other charidee records in terms of musical quality (and i always found lou rawls' bit about "the rats, the roaches and the waterbugs" quite amusing). but although i was of course aware it was done for a cause, i have to admit that i either never realised or had forgotten that all proceeds from it actually went to charity - thus presumably making it the first case of such practice by several years?

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    13. Man, that garbage was piled up fifty storeys high!

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    14. I've never heard of Let's Clean Up the Ghetto - I will have to check it out on YT...

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  2. usa for africa: i wonder how many of those involved were only there because they knew if they weren't then they would be seen as bad eggs? quite a few i suspect, as charidee fascism was pretty much in full swing by now. but i don't suppose it did their bank balances any harm, as some idiots no doubt rushed out and bought some of their old product as a result of their participation (willingly or otherwise)

    rah band: for anyone who has forgotten, the name of this "band" is the initials of instigator richard a hewson (i think lurking behind the keyboards and under the baseball cap) who had already been active in the music biz for twenty years by this point (i don't suppose his original discarded string scores for the debut nick drake album will ever see the light of day?). this guff (which i remember getting a lot of radio airplay, but was surely too lightweight for what i presume was its intended market i.e. the club scene) is so cheesy it hurts - just as much now as it did then. and at the risk of sounding sexist, one can only presume it was bought strictly by female teenagers? my memory is telling me that the singer was mrs h. but is that a syrup she's wearing by any chance?

    dream academy: with names like nick laird-clowes and kate st john, not surprisingly this lot didn't actually experience life in a northern town. despite the bombastic timpani bursts this was as fey as the singer himself, so not surprisingly they didn't last long despite the hype (they were much acclaimed on "the tube" at the time to my recollection). i don't know what happened to mr laird-clowes, but after their 15 minutes of fame the classically-trained ms st john became much in-demand as a session instrumentalist and arranger

    king: i've completely forgotten anything of theirs other than "love and pride" - maybe because i thought that was so awful that i made a point of doing so? listening now this is much better in comparison, with a simple but effective groove that doesn't try too hard to be clever like their debut. if it wasn't them, i might actually like it

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    1. belated thought on the dream academy: their names and song title have made me think of the classic "private eye" cartoon strip "it's grim up north london", where things like forgetting to buy some vinaigrette for a dinner party constitutes a crisis!

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    2. Regarding King, "The taste Of Your Tears" is a guilty pleasure of mine.

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    3. The KLF a few years later in 1991 did their own one called It's Grim Up North, which is a lesser known one from them, but nevertheless there was a black & white video released by them, so it must have got into the lower reaches of the charts.

      Anyway, in the video they recite a lot of Northern Towns while being rained on, showing the grimness up North:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwtSdJaPCSI

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    4. Arthur - I'm with you on 'The Taste Of Your Tears', it's the only other good King song after the first hit.

      Dory - 'It's Grim Up North', released by the KLF under their other pseudonym of The JAMMS, wasn't a minor hit. It got to No.10!

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    5. I really like Alone Without You by King.

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  3. Has anyone got the 18th April edition with Mike Smith, as the Beeb will go straight to 25th April this week? It is the one where USA For Africa successfully wrestles the No.1 spot off Bailey & Collins, and Phyllis Collins "moves closer" to the no.1 spot herself.

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    1. Phyllis Collins? Is that a deliberate double pun or a typo Dory?! (I get the 'move closer' bit!)

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    2. It was first a typo, but then I thought to leave it there, as it sounded like a good double pun, so you were reading my mind!

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    4. Sure there'll be a WeTransfer link on next week's blog!

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  4. By chance I stumbled on some hilarious doctored images of recent British Prime Ministers, showing what they might have looked like if they had been a member of the opposite sex. It would be interesting to see what the person behind that montage would produce for "Phyllis Collins"...

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  5. Ironic the Tears hit includes the line "I can't stand this indecision" given that not being able to make their minds up nearly scuppered their chances. Best bit is "There's a room where the light won't find you."

    USA for Africa, as Spitting Image had it, "We're Scared of Bob"! It'll be a brave man or woman who admits to liking this now, just as it was a brave man or woman who admitted to hating it back then. How times change.

    The Rah Band, I loved this at the time, and its treacly tunefulness still strikes a chord now. I think it was the science fiction aspect that appealed, the singer's husband appears to be off fighting some space war so she's left alone to pine. As Noel Coward said, never underestimate the power of cheap music, and this makes me a little misty-eyed with nostalgia. Synth is a bit nasty, mind.

    Then the Breakers, sort of recall the Foreigner one but you can hear why the public had had enough of them by now. Billy Connolly and the theme tune to a kids' show not made by STV, but by Tyne Tees! Scunner Campbell must have been behind that plot somehow. We were read the book of this in primary school. Interesting mention of Iceman, suggesting The Big Yin was a fan of the Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends cartoon. As a novelty song, I suppose it did what it was supposed to. No expense spared in the video, watch out Marvel! China Crisis and old stocking over the head face I guess we'll hear in full later on?

    Michael Praed taking time off from Robin of Sherwood to deliver us this wistfully exultant ditty, the chanting chorus of which was swiped by Dario G for an even bigger hit decades later. It's nice enough, undeniably distinctive in a posh types let their hair down way, but it speaks volumes that I saw the band on The Little and Large Show a while after, doing a different song, and had no idea who they were.

    King, I like the way Paul is acting out the lyrics as if he's in Black Lace. Amusing, coquettish look to the camera from the keyboard player, too. As for the song, not quite as hooky as their previous hit, or their follow-up for that matter.

    The two Phils still there, but not for much longer, and Pat Benatar to end on, but she never really took off over here, and with this over-earnest pop rock it's not surprising.

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    1. Funnily enough, Michael Praed's tear-jerking last episode of Robin of Sherwood was first broadcast just two days after this show. We will indeed see more of China Crisis and Phil imminently.

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    2. I was wondering what happened to Mike after Dynasty, anyway? Did he think he could never do better than a Moldovan Prince? Then I checked IMDB and see he's currently in Emmerdale! Almost as glamorous.

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    3. despite being a big heart-throb at the time, it seems that nowadays mr praed is residing with his lookalike nick laird-clowes in "where are they now?" country. his replacement on "robin of sherwood" (that never appealed to me - i seem to recall being put-off by the supernatural element) was one jason connery - now, just how did he get his break in showbiz?

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    4. thx your comment on michael praed was posted whilst i was writing mine! to me it always seems a bit odd (and sad) when big names end up in soaps like "emmerdale" (patrick mower and amanda donahue spring to mind)

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    5. I guess no matter how big you've been as a star in the UK, there comes a time when resting on your laurels isn't going to pay the bills, and soaps are regular work.

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    6. Neil Morrissey was very nearly picked as the new Robin after Praed left, but they went for Jason Connery both because of his surname and because he was blonde, so would be less likely to be seen as Praed clone. Just a shame he was more wooden than all the trees in Sherwood Forest combined...

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    7. john you've given me another laugh-out-loud moment with your comment on jason connery's acting skills! he wasn't the only relative to benefit from his dad's success - despite no apparent previous acting experience whatsoever, his uncle neil played a secret agent in a 60's italian bond rip-off called "operation big brother" that actually also starred actors who had worked on the bond franchise itself (bernard lee aka "m" and lois maxwell aka "moneypenny" - despite their global fame as bond regulars, they were never rewarded financially accordingly). i personally would love to see that film as well as the other many 60's (mainly european) spy-craze cash-ins, but sadly if they're even available on dvd then the prices are extortionate!

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    8. sorry - the correct name of that spy film mentioned above was "operation kid brother"!

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    9. I've seen Operation Kid Brother, it's surprisingly lavish, presumably because the Connery name lent it a bit of cachet for the budget, even if he was the wrong one! And worse, he refused to shave off his beard, so he looks like a baddie in it. He's even dubbed, so we didn't hear his voice. A weird curio.

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  6. Janice & John were in an even more flirtatious mood here than last time, so much so it got a tad wearisome by the end. Still, the chart rundown was certainly livelier than normal.

    A welcome return appearance by Curt and Roland to kick off, both modelling polo shirts, before we move on to USA For Africa. For some reason I quite liked this at the time, but now the Jacko/Richie song sounds very saccharine indeed, and the video is overearnest - give me Band Aid any day. At least they cut short the interminable end bit, where the chorus gets repeated over and over again, but we still had to endure Springsteen's ludicrous bellowing of his line.

    Watching the Rah Band's performance, I have to say that the same Doctor Who references occurred to me as to sct, and Dory is right to say that it feels like a throwback to 1978
    and the era of Automatic Lover and I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper. While I have a sneaking admiration for the elaborate staging here, the song itself is weak and forgettable, not helped by the singer's thin voice - The Crunch was far more memorable. The Foreigner and Billy Connolly tracks will not be on again, and I can't say that is any great loss. I remember watching Super Gran (I didn't like it much), but have no recollection at all of the theme tune, let alone that Connolly sang it - on this evidence, I can count myself lucky! Foreigner just sound nondescript, and I am not surprised this only got to 28. They had quite a precipitate fall from grace really, going from a big number 1 to never breaking the Top 30 again within a couple of single releases.

    While I can admire its production, Life in a Northern Town has always struck me as a song which strains too hard for a grandeur and importance that it is too slight to attain. On the evidence of this performance, Nick Laird-Clowes also appears to have a high opinion of himself - according to Wikipedia, he was briefly a presenter on The Tube during its first series. King return with a song you never hear now, but which is reasonable enough. However, it lacks the catchiness of Love and Pride, for all Paul's attempts in this performance to replicate his previous stage moves, trademark heart pounding included. Poor old Pat Benatar once again gets relegated to the playout, but the excellent Love is a Battlefield at least makes for a lively end to the show.

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    1. mention of mr laird-clowes as a presenter on "the tube" is probably the reason his band was so highly-thought of on that show!

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    2. The Foreigner song sounded ok to me, I think it deserved better, it has enough bite in the chorus.

      I agree that Life in a Northern Town felt overrated, it's ok but it is straining somewhat. In retrospect it's annoying that this is all they are known for with most people. They continued to 91, and their peak may have been at the end. Even in 85 they did a brilliant cover of The Smiths Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want which I would have preferred to their big hit had I known it back then.

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    3. Yeah, Mr Peel and some of you guys are being a bit harsh on Mick, Lou and co! I think the song is a stonking tune and the video with the audience cheers dubbed over is great also. But a nice twist in the tail right at the end of the video...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxz7UkOQ5v4

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    4. It's interesting in that there must be hundreds of videos with an usual twist at the end, that we never got to see at the time, because videos were rarely played in full on mainstream TV before the arrival of MTV which only a small percentage of the public could afford to pay extra for.

      BBC, ITV and Channel 4 would always try to cram in as many videos as possible by playing around 2-3 minutes of them, when many were around 4-5 minutes in length, and only with the introduction of Utube have we been able to see them in full - several years later.

      Having said that, this week's TOTP had 4 minutes each of USA for Africa and Bailey & Collins, so the show had improved on its video-playing since the 1978-1983 period especially.

      However, the full USA For Africa video is some 8 minutes long, and I also noticed that the last five shows of TOTP played 4 minutes plus of the Bailey & Collins video, first at no.2 and then 4 weeks at No.1, with all five showings of the video on TOTP getting over 4 minutes of it played.

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  8. I wonder if John did get Janice a ticket to see Liverpool at Wembley? It wasn't to be this year though as the following week a Bryan Robson inspired Man Utd beat his beloved team in a Fa Cup semi-final replay at Maine Road

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  9. totp 18 th April 1985 (thanks Neil B.) is here:https://we.tl/ASXmMMReOS

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  10. 2 in a row from BBC4 - we are honoured.

    And my new favourite team of Janice and John get us underway with a new "live" performance from TFF. Not quite the last hurrah for this one as we get to "Run the world" again in 86.

    USA for Africa - I do remember this quite clearly from the time, although my 10 year old self was struggling to work who half of them were.
    This song hasn't aged as well as Band Aid but nice to hear it again. Nice of Michael to make an effort to dress up - do you think he kept them waiting?
    It is a much more "produced" effort than Band Aid isn't it. Bob clearly not in charge of the T-shirts as there aren't that many,

    The Rah Band up next..this has NOT dated well. I wasn't sure about it in the breakers last show and the full version doesn't make it any better.
    At least we know what happened to Kamelion from Doctor Who.

    Breakers:
    Foreigner: Never heard before - and not very original. Oh look ANOTHER concert video.
    Billy Connolly - Oh dear...
    China Crisis - I like this one. Added it to my playlist last week and it is growing on me.
    Phil Collins - He's still number one! Bit keen for another hit aren't you Phil.. Nice song. Not his best.

    Dream Academy - My first experience of this was as a sample on a 90s dance tune (Sunchyme maybe???) and then the original appeared on an 80s 12" CD I bought in the late 90s. It is a great record. Totally passed me by in 85 though.

    Our comedy duo run down the charts next. They are having a ball aren't they.

    So King finally makes it in to the studio (not that it helped his chart position).
    Song is a bit of nothing really. Needs a good hook.

    Good to see a bit more of the climbers in the Top Ten.

    Final week for the 2 Phils and then a great record to play out from Pat Benatar.

    A solid show this week.

    And now back to the PC if someone finds next weeks episode..

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    1. didn't tears for fears have another top 20 hit after this one with "head over heels"?

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    2. Yep, reached no12 later in 1985. They also released a fifth single, 'I believe (a soulful re-recording)' from the excellent 'Songs from the Big Chair' reaching no23. Not sure that this last one was singles material mind you.

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    3. morgie i'd agree with your assessment of "i believe" - a nice way to end the album on a pensive note, but hardly singles material. so given that and the fact that it was the fifth release from said album (with little airplay to my recollection) it was miraculous that it did as well as it did. but perhaps people bought bought it because it was a different recording (or mix) to the album version?

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    4. That robot couldn't have been Kamelion, it was moving properly.

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  11. TFF - I wanted to FF, but Mrs. Noax likes it so I was forced to watch. To be fair, it doesn't annoy me as much as 'Shout'.

    USA For Africa - Utterly terrible.

    The RAH Band - As a student, this got a LOT of airplay on our radio station. Not even in an ironic way, a few of us genuinely loved it. I still think it's a brilliant pop song, and if you hear the full album version, there's some quite nice bass going on in there too. Not sure why the 'Intergalactic Operator' robot blows a fuse at the end though as it doesn't exactly fit the story of the song...

    Breakers - The Foreigner one is totally nondescript. I was delighted to see Billy though, I didn't think for a minute that he'd be on! Everyone's being harsh on this, it's a theme tune to a kids TV show for goodness sake! I'm not sure that's actually a video for it though. The China Crisis song is understated but melodic, Phil's song is understated and tedious.

    The Dream Academy - I do have a soft spot for this song, but if you've heard their other singles, my goodness you'll know why they only had this one hit!

    King - So a song that's gone 26-24-24 gets studio time but something more interesting we haven't seen in full (like ABC for example) doesn't get on. Hmmmm..they obviously had good pluggers.

    Pat Benatar's song always reminds me of that early South Park episode where the teacher who's very straight laced and says 'M'kay?' all the time takes drugs and starts singing it.

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  12. Never mind Black Man Ray, It’s Black Fez Janice this week. Great chemistry between her and Peelie, though I wish they’d done the chart rundown in a more straightfoward fashion and not so jokey (HORRIBLE rundown design – pictures too small, and stupid flashing graphics), and poor old Paul Miles-Kingston gets renamed yet again!

    Tears For Fears (one of the scant highlights in this show for me) dressed as the Battenberg boys there. Why did the drummer have to dress so differently, and why did we see his simplistic playing instead of the guitar solo? Roland pretending to be Jimi Hendrix at the end by biting the guitar strings. Easy now!

    USA For Africa – pure vom, especially the split screen of Broooce and Stevie Wonder howling their lyrics. Horrendous.

    Was Satalina’s in Chesterfield a nightclub? And who’s Jeremy?

    I agree the Rah Band’s singer had thin vocals, and if that was her in the studio she made a real hash of the spoken mime at the end. Oh so 80’s space clothing and mics. Why was that robot cross-eyed? I hope he was called Clarence.

    Foreigner’s song was no “Cold As Ice”, was it?

    The programme “Supergran” actually won an Emmy and was big in both China and Cuba. Amazingly, Tyne Tees Television nixed a third series by deciding to use the budget for their exciting daytime gameshows instead!

    Nice song and vid for China Crisis, but that sudden cat makeup on the woman was a bit startling.

    Oh Christ, it’s Phil Collins again.

    One of my close friends rates “Life in A Northern Town” as the worst song ever and, in his words, wrist-slittingly depressing, It’s “the children DRANK lemonade”, Nick, not “drunk”!

    King with an awful song and a slappable singer. Better than this round the corner for them.

    No no NO, Janice, it’s the top ten best selling singles, not videos. Tsk!

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  13. I forgot to say, I do like the way "Supergran" has a rhyming couplet in English and Scottish pronunciation - "granny do" followed by "cannae do".

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    1. i don't know if it's because billy connolly (whose appeal comepletely bypassed me - the only thing i found remotely funny about him was his observation that his local football team were not actually called "partick thistle nil" as seemed the case going by the football results read out on "grandstand"!) has been mentioned here or not, but i noticed that one of the ad spaces on this page is promoting what i presume to be a cd of his called "live - greatest hits". if so, then perhaps for that reason he should be henceforth be referred to here as the big yin (which i had to actually look up to find out what that meant - it's scottish dialect for "the big one")?

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    2. Supergran was a Scottish character, based on a Scottish book, hence Billy being recruited for the theme song. Gudrun Ure who played her is still alive. Doesn't explain why Tyne Tees made the show and not STV (or Scottish, as they might have pointlessly renamed themselves by then, with the CGI logo that looked like a little man with his hands in the air).

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  14. Its Janice & John again with the presenter's gig,and its a good job because without them, this edition could have been notching up a record new low combined score.

    The Boys From Bath get the show underway with a song that was once hugely enjoyable to me, but which now suffers from The Magic FM curse of being played to death. Oh to be back in 85 when the gorgeous guitar, and hook-laden vocals were new to my ears. ( Ears which,back then were smaller, less hairy, and far more adept at hearing what people were saying on the television!)

    Next up - USA For Africa. And America are once more late to the party just as they were in World War One, World War Two, and in coming to the realisation that Milli Vanilli were miming. As many people have already commented this is an appalling piece of music, which is accompanied by an even more appalling singing-in-the-studio video. Jackson takes the award for being the most preposterous, but Springsteen's vocal is a worthy runner-up. (And I speak as a massive Bruce fan for 40 years). So bad it actually makes my skin crawl.

    Rah Band. A so-so kind-of-novelty hit which also hasn't stood the test of time and which suffers from weedy vocals.

    Dream Academy ( or Nightmare College?) God that's grim, and I'm not a fan of writers who have to resort to nonsense words or dooby-doos instead of buckling down and coming up with actual words.

    King. Annoying song, annoying singer, annoying guitarist.

    The Two Phils on top. I remember the video from the time and in my memory Phil Collins does a visual impression of Leonard Rossiter As Rigsby to a bemused Mr Bailey. Watching now, it looks more like the impression was of Bobby Ball. The song is still garbage though.

    Scores. A particularly bad day on the music front. Without the top-and-tailing duo of TFF and Pat Benatar this would have scored a big fat zero. Even with them its a 2.

    Janice and John do a nice enough job, but their interaction seems a tad more 'scripted' than on their last showing. They are still, however, head and shoulders above their co-presenters, and cop for a 7.

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  15. a very belated entry here, but i've just stumbled across a live performance of "life in a northern town" by dream academy from only a couple of years back... with (a hair-flicking) kate st john looking exactly the same as she did 30 years earlier!:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-dm3tQ3g_c

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