Friday 30 September 2016

We Have a Top of the Pops

It's May 6th 1982 and Simon Bates is making sure everyone knows he is hosting a live edition of Top of the Pops!

.....And I looked up, and it was me, on Top of the Pops!


6-5-82: Presenter: Simon Bates

(31) JUNIOR – Mama Used To Say
Richard Blackwood's uncle gets the show underway, with what would become the first of two top ten hits when it peaked at number 7.

(34) DEPECHE MODE – The Meaning Of Love
Edited out of tonights early showing and even though it got to number 12 we won't get to see it again!

(2) ENGLAND WORLD CUP SQUAD – We’ll Fly The Flag
They threw everything into this, the star names like Keegan and Hoddle, together with half of British Airways' stewardesses and official England fan Ken Baily, but could this be the performance that won them the honour of being the 500th number one?

(3) PhD – I Won’t Let You Down
Falling victim to the 7.30pm edit yet again! But I'm sure we will see them on BBC4 next week.

(32) TIGHT FIT – Fantasy Island
The follow up to their number one, and they are actually singing on it themselves this time, made it to number 5, but it was to be their final top 30 success.

(30) TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR F.A. CUP FINAL SQUAD – Tottenham, Tottenham
A second football song, this time its Chas & Dave and Spurs again - it was not as successful as last year's Ossies Dream though, peaking at number 19.

(27) PATRICE RUSHEN – Forget Me Nots
This was Patrice's only top 30 hit, peaking at number 8.

(13) SCOTTISH WORLD CUP SQUAD – We Have A Dream
Would you believe we now have a third football song on the show, this one being by far the most eccentric, fronted by a manic John Gordon Sinclair, and helped out with wacky sound effects from BA Robertson. It somehow made it to number 5.

(1) PAUL McCARTNEY & STEVIE WONDER – Ebony And Ivory (video)
A third and final week at number one, so very fitting that at the end of the video who should drop into the live studio (for the first time since late 1974) to say hello to Simon but Paul McCartney himself, with his wife Linda.

(5) BANANARAMA & FUN BOY THREE – Really Saying Something (and credits)
We close the show with another studio performance, Really Saying Something now at its chart peak.



The next edition is May 13th 1982, but it is hosted by DLT so BBC4 are skipping it in favour of May 20th, which will be shown next Friday.

72 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Steve Archibald seemed delighted at the prospect of being interviewed by Simon 'have I mentioned the show is live?' Bates. Nice to see a Slimey time check too!

    Bit of a mixed bag musically with three football songs too many.

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    1. And the time check was actually correct. Spooky.

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  3. Slimey works in mysterious ways...

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  4. Sheesh, this one was... quite something. I was entertained, at least, but maybe not for all the right reasons.

    First up, Junior performing live, a very fine slice of pop, reminiscent of Linx's Intuition, also an example of a great spectacles wearer in pop.

    Depeche Mode with a hit of theirs you just never hear. Has a nice keyboard riff, but not very memorable, and Dave's Space Invader dancing leaves a lot to be desired.

    Then the England World Cup (Squad, Simes has trouble with that word, oddly), what were they thinking? Was this why they didn't reach number one, because they were "singing" the British Airways ad theme on here and not the far superior This Time? They did look as if they would rather be flown a thousand miles away and not deeply embarrassed to be miming to their out of tune singing.

    PhD next, it's a really good pop song but sounds like a flippin' masterpiece compared with what was on immediately before. Somehow the TOTP director fades it just at the fantastic fanfare bit, the Philistine.

    Tight Fit get out the white stilettos for their catchy as hell tribute to Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaise (probably). Thinking of their holidays, apparently.

    Chas and Dave must have taken about three minutes to write this Tottenham tune, but I do remember it in spite of not having heard it for three and a half decades. It does keep turning into the theme from Top Cat in my mind, incongruously.

    Ah, Patrice Rushen to rescue the mood, must have taken her ages to do her barnet. It's the handclaps that make this one, and true to form Zoo don't miss the opportunity to mime them.

    Then the Scots have a go with the brave move of a football comedy song, and do you know? I liked it at the time, and still think it's a hundred times more imaginative than most of its many rivals. BA Robertson tries desperately to grab the limelight, yes, we see you. So that's Clare Grogan, John Gordon Sinclair... where's Dee Hepburn's hit single?

    Penultimately, the comparatively sedate and sensible Ebony and Ivory to end on. I wonder if Paul and Stevie could play chopsticks on their giant piano like Tom Hanks and Robert Loggia did in Big?

    Not only is Joan Jett in the studio, who must have been extremely bemused and thinking TOTP mostly consisted of sporting records every week, but Fab Macca Thumbsaloft is here too, with the missus. I wonder who the Heather who busted her leg was that he mentioned - couldn't have been, could it?

    Nice to see him and Linda grooving to the Fun Boys and Bananarama, in fact they were easier to make out than the six singers amidst that rabble. What a show! Only in the 80s!

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    1. I did think that it was a bit of a shambles the way they put Fun Boy Three/Bananarama amidst the studio audience and hardly standing out. This coupled with the credits covering the screen while they were on, made very little little to see for the TV viewers. It was a bit like last year in 1981 when Legs & Co were hardly noticeable when interspersed with a studio audience. At least give them a stage to perform on, as it was hard to find Terry Hall, Neville, etc among that mess.

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    2. let's face it, the talent-free bananarama were practically audience members themselves, so no wonder they failed to stand out!

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    3. It definitely wasn't that one THX, it was his daughter Heather.

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    4. Ah, OK. Weird coincidence, tho'.

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    5. Why does Macca hates gypsy women? Because they offer him "Lucky Heather".

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  5. Some interesting acts on the show this week. By far the most refreshing was Tight Fit with Fantasy Island, even just for the girls wearing heavenly white, and boobs pushing out of their tops quite well. Oh and the tune was a good one too, very mellow and summery.

    In contrast, The Scottish World Cup Squad had a very Christmassy sound to it, and hardly early summer, which we were now in by May 1982. This of course would not have been complete without BA Robertson in the middle of the stage, despite the fact that he was truly washed up as a chart act himself by now, with his last top 40 single being Hold Me a few months earlier in October 1981.

    The Tottenham Hotspur record was more fruitful, what with the girls in yellow shorts and white suspenders, the team went on to win the FA Cup again, so Chas ‘n’ Dave’s efforts for the second year running seemed to win the FA Cup for Spurs. No such success for England and Scotland World Cup teams after appearing on this show.

    And so to the No.1, and what a bonus to have Sir Paul McCartney in the TOTP studio, as the last time was in 1974 when the Beeb wiped most of the episodes of that year. So here a 40-year old Sir Paul with his wife Linda in the studio were gearing up to introduce The Fun Boy Three and Bananarama on the playout, and signing autographs too.

    Oh, and this time there was no repeat of Neville pinching Keren’s bottom like in the video a couple of weeks earlier on the show. What an honour it must have been for them to perform on Sir Paul’s rare visit to the TOTP studio, thankfully looking very chirpy only a year-and-a-half after the loss of John Lennon.

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    1. Dory. Would I be right in thinking you're a screaming heterosexual?

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  6. host: on no, slimy is unleashed on another "live" edition so mishaps are pretty likely to happen. the worst bit was when he asked footballer steve archibald to wrap a scarf around his head - i know headbands were rife on this show (although amazingly brighton and england footballer steve foster didn't have one on), but that's no excuse! also he tells us at least two efforts are "lovely", which really is a terrible way to describe music

    junior: he was mentored by linx, to the point where he even looks like a david grant clone with his modest-but-naff afro and specs. a dance tune i never disliked but could also never get excited about. of course there was also a guy called junior in the amazing brazilian football team at that year's world cup. as i have said when other guys called junior have appeared on the show in the past, do people still call them that now they're close-to-if-not-already senior citizens?

    depeche mode: this is actually probably their best effort for me (and some modulation is involved!), but it doesn't really matter how good the music is as i just can't stand the singer's intonation. i did like the duracell bunny, who presumably had just started out at this time and i think (appropriately given what he advertised) is still going strong

    england team: was this the b-side of "this time we'll get it right", or another thing altogether? this time gary bailey is roped in for the occasion, but like dave watson and tony morley also present here he never made the final 82 world cup squad either. seeing "england mascot" ken baily brings back a lot of memories for me: i first happened across him when i ran in a cross-country race at a local school and was surprised to be presented with a medal by him afterwards. and was even more surprised when i discovered he had a really bad lisp. a few years later i moved up the coast to bournemouth where i became aware of him as a sort-of local celebrity. without going into detail he divided opinion in the town to put it mildly, with the blue-rinse brigade seeing him as a nice if eccentric old gent, whilst many others suspecting if not actually accusing him of being a pedo! in retrospect he was bournemouth's very own version of j*mmy s*v*le, and even today years after his passing, mention of his name brings forth strong opinions on related social media sites!

    phd: i watched some of this simply to hear the bombastic bit everybody here is raving about. but no sooner did it come to what i presumed was that then it faded out

    tight fit: sounding very abba-like to me, so perhaps unsurprisingly i have ascertained this is a cover of something originally done by a dutch act. it's okay i suppose but certainly no "lions sleeps tonight". and the dance routines of steve, denise and "chopper" (that might be the last time i get the chance to call her that!) are getting a bit predictable. prior to the tv series of that name, the dwarf actor herve villeneuve broke through in the bond film "the man with the golden gun" playing a henchman called nick nack. around that time i used to play darts with some chums in their garage, and one of them started hurling the darts at the board like a knife in the manner he had seen herve throw them when he appeared in some celebrity darts tournament. of course from then on the technique (which although spectacular wasn't actually very reliable or accurate to be honest) was known as "the nick nack"...

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    1. "England We'll Fly The Flag" was on the flipside of "This Time (We'll Get It Right}"; the single was officially promoted as a double A-side. The former song was originally a jingle for British Airways, hence the presence of air hostesses. Tut, tut - does that not breach Auntie's policy on advertising?

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    2. Herve Villechaize's celebrity darts tournament appearance was in that World of Sport clip show on ITV4 a couple of years ago. No, he didn't stand on a box. More power to him. His best film role was as the King Fausto in Forbidden Zone, one of the weirdest movies ever.

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    3. sorry - i now realise i've got herve mixed up with a pair of formula 1 drivers!

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    4. Seems you were right about the England mascot Ken Baily:

      https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=2507&dat=19851122&id=WsBAAAAAIBAJ&sjid=1aUMAAAAIBAJ&pg=3675,4922795&hl=en

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    5. Re Junior being a protege of David Grant, isn't David grant's future wife Carrie one of the cheerleaders on the show?

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    6. thanks for the ken baily link bama - despite his dubious reputation, i always thought that (like a certain cigar-smoking marathon-running disc jockey of our acquaintance) ken was never actually charged with any crimes in his lifetime. i could go on a lot more about the guy, but here's an example of how he sharply divided opinion in his home town: one of the local bus companies hired him as the face of their advertising campaign (wearing a yellow version of his "john bull" outfit, with the slogan "ken supports the yellows). but shortly after someone took a photo of him (probably not by chance as iphones hadn't been invented yet) boarding a rival company's bus, which was then published in the local paper!

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    7. re mrs grant: i remember she was billed as a "dancer" or suchlike when she was interviewed for one of the annual reviews. but i can't say i've noticed her on any shows yet - unlike that fucking fairbrass!

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  7. a bit like chas & dave's collaborations with the following, this is a two-parter:

    spurs: sadly no sign of ossie ardiles or rick villa this time for their second fa cup final effort in a row, as we had now gone to war against the "argies" and they were somewhat conveniently loaned out to foreign clubs as a result. i recognised many of the players there, but i'm not sure who the guy with the absurd mullet was at the back - possibly gary brooke?

    patrice rushen: no doubt patrice was seen by most as simply a rather cute american disco singer, but i had been following her career since the mid 70's where her path took her from child prodigy jazz pianist, to jazz-funk-fusion exponent doing the odd vocal on her albums a la george benson, to what she'd become now where sadly her keyboard skills very much took a back seat to her singing and seamlessly smooth dance music. having said that though, this is still vastly superior to anthing else on the show. interesting to see the "audience member" in the tight-fitting shiny red rubber (?) dress, that could easily be worn today without anyone commenting on how dated it looks - in contrast to the guy with the tache, headband and baggy yellow suit!

    scotland team: i recognised a few familar faces there: john wark, asa "hole in the hart"ford, and of course the aforementioned steve archibald with his curious twixt-stubble-and-beard facial hair. but what's smokey robinson doing there? even by footballing songs this is a true nadir and quite simply unlistenable. i obviously expunged it from my memory as a result, and i'm somewhat staggered to read it reached the top 5 in the charts! we recently had a debate on england fans waving union jacks as opposed to flags of st george, and i remember the scottish fans of that era used to show their allegiance by unfurling yellow flags as well of the one of st andrew - a scottish chum later informed me it is known as "the lion rampant" and was considered the true sign of support for the "sweats"

    by the way, i was also rather incredulous of macca's "get well to heather after breaking her leg" message - even spookier than slimy's time references!

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    1. I must admit that my eyes were fixed on the audience member with the red rubber dress, more than Patrice Rushen. I was wondering why you had put a question mark sign next to the word 'rubber'.

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    2. dory it was simply because i wasn't sure if it was rubber or some other kind of material!

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    3. further to my comments on the multi-talented patrice rushen, if anyone's interested here are a few examples of her work prior to "forget-me-knots":

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX7vM8VaXRY

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlTHakhP8Bw

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaR2rlIUQ0E

      on this one she actually plays every instrument other than guitar!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U9nBewx9qE

      credited to eddie henderson, although it's basically all patrice's own work

      here's an interesting recent interview too:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbdrCvXo5z0

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  8. Well, that was certainly an eventful show, the musical quality veering giddily from the sublime to the ridiculous. Junior provides a solid start to proceedings, and his seemingly-live vocal is impressive, though his uncanny resemblance to David Grant is a bit off-putting. The Depeche Mode song is new to me, but sounded very lightweight by their standards and did not linger in my memory at all - the Duracell Bunny was the only memorable thing about it...

    Ah, here come England with a blatant plug for BA - was this deemed permissible by the Beeb at the time because BA was still nationalised? Anyway, it's a very poor song, very poorly sung - they would have done much better to perform This Time, even though they did not ultimately fulfil the promise of that song's title! Good to have PhD back in the studio again, though not so good that they get cut off just as they reach the best bit. If one needed proof that you don't have to be good-looking to make good music, this lot could be the first exhibit...

    Fantasy Island is a complete ABBA rip-off, but if you are going to copy someone else's sound then you might as well copy the best. I really like this, actually - the chorus is catchy as anything, and the Tight Fit trio don't disgrace themselves with their vocals. The law of diminishing returns applies to the Spurs Cup Final song - it is still the best of the football tracks on the show, but that is not saying much! As Wilberforce mentions above, unsurprisingly the club's Argentine players were kept out of sight and out of mind this year...

    Patrice Rushen restores musical credibility to the show with some slinky disco-soul, and the Zoo dancers around her actually do a pretty good job of clapping along to the rhythm, and help enhance the atmosphere for a change. Sadly for Patrice, this song is probably best remembered nowadays as a sample in George Michael's Fastlove, and for Will Smith's Men in Black song. Alas, things then go downhill again as the Scotland squad subject us to a truly dire effort. If you were to be generous, you could at least say it is trying to do something different with a very conservative genre, but John Gordon Sinclair's overemoting is just embarrassing, as are the antics in the background of evil mastermind and serial publicity-seeker BA Robertson. You don't hear much of JGS nowadays - perhaps he retreated from the public eye out of shame for his part in this! Thankfully the show concludes on a respectable note with Macca and Linda bopping along to FB3 and the Nanas, though as has been noted the staging of this is pretty chaotic and the performers are semi-obscured. Still, an apt conclusion to a decidedly erratic edition.

    As for Master Bates, all his familiar tropes are on display - the unctuousness, the time checks and the use of 500 words where 5 would do (particularly noticeable in the Depeche Mode link). He also demonstrated a puzzling inability to say "Scottish World Cup Squad" correctly, which perhaps partly explains Steve Archibald's entirely understandable aversion to being in his presence. His best gaffe, however, was when asking Macca what he was doing there having already told the viewers that the Fab One had dropped in on his way home! Macca's mention of Heather "busting her leg" did make my jaw drop briefly, but I think we can safely assume he was talking about Linda's daughter - Ms Mills would not be deprived of her limb for another 11 years...

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    1. The most recent thing I saw JGS in was that zombie movie World War Z. He now writes violent paperback thrillers. Come on, the Scottish tune was worth it to hear someone shout "Gaun yersel'!" on TOTP, you don't get that every week.

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    2. "Gaun yersel" ("Go on yourself") can mean "Well done" or "you're kidding" but in this context it's a shout of encouragement.

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    3. Thank you Arthur, it means "Jolly good show, old chap".

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    4. i do find it of interest that although the scots seem fiercely nationalistic (particularly when it comes to "the auld enemy"), unlike other countries-within-countries like wales, catalonia, etc they only speak a dialect of the major indigenous language and don't seem to have one of their own. does anyone know the reason for that?

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    5. Scots Gaelic is spoken in parts of the Highlands and Islands and is an optional subject at SQA National level (the Scottish counterpart to GCSE).

      If you read this Wiki article, you'll discover that English became Scotland's main language long before the Act of Union: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_Gaelic

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    6. thanks for doing the above research julie!

      also just to say that the "gregory's girl" guy fronting the scottish team started acting under the name gordon john sinclair before swapping his forenames around. was he forced into that, or did he (or his agent) just think it sounded better?

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  9. Slimes was wrong when he mentioned Clemence/Hoddle being the only two people on two different songs on the same show. He glaringly missed Archibald too for Spurs and the Jocks. Daft apeth.

    I too remember that incredible Brazilian team of that year, my first footie memory. Also the samba drums and the superb BBC commentary that sounded all tinny and from a microphone. It made foreign climes (Spain) even more exotic!

    Brazil played Scotland in this tournament and were 1-0 down to a fabulous David Narey goal. Nobody of his teammates congratulated him too much as they were worried he had just angered the Brazilians. He had and the Jocks lost 4-1.

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    1. i think the (much under-rated) itv commentator john helm is perhaps most closely associated with showering superlatives on the brilliant brazilians in the 82 world cup?

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    2. Had any of those footballers been on three songs in the same show, they'd probably have been banned in the future, as happened to the session singer's session singer Tony Burrrows after he fronted three different acts in one TOTP!

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    3. I think that's an urban myth Arthur. According to the Popscene listings Brotherhood Of Man and White Plains never appeared on the same show. However, he would have appeared twice on the 29/01/70 and 12/02/70 editions.

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    4. Interesting! I didn't realise the hat-trick was a myth though, from the brief research I've done before I'm told to get on with my work, Tony did manage to have two bands on the show four times in a six week spell, plus four songs in the top ten at the same time!

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    5. In 1973 Roy Wood and Rick Price performed on the same show twice as part of Wizzard and for Roy Wood's solo song.

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  10. Welcome to “Match of the Day”! I’m mad keen on football, but even I would have winced at the content of this show. In my opinion, the only three decent footie songs are “Back Home”, “World In Motion” and “Three Lions”. The rest are relegation material.

    Norman Giscombe starts us off with a ‘newish’ classic combining live vocals with what I assume are vocals from the single for the choruses. I remember Junior saying in an interview he hated singers saying “Get down” and that he’d never do that. What did he do the next time he was on telly? I also remember Radio 1 presenting a live broadcast of a Junior gig from that well known music hotbed, Poole!

    What new line up is that for Depeche Mode, then, Simes? It’s the same quartet as for the last single! Loads of advertising for British Airways and subliminally for Duracell in this show.

    The return of the Haircut 100 rainbow backdrop for PhD, named after the initials of the three members’ surnames, so where’s the poor drummer in the mugshot? An alluring woman in matching black dress and gloves stage right of Jim. Criminal chopping of the song preventing the keyboards getting unleashed.

    Apparently there was a bloke on stage with Tight Fit, and those palm trees on stage appeared to provide the four white-clad coconuts. Great song, great choreography. As I’ve mentioned before, the group’s mis-spelt as Fight Fit if you want to download this on iTunes. “Fantasy Island” had finished fifth in the Dutch final for Eurovision – their winning entry finished third last in the big gig.

    Another classic from Patrice Rushen, who seemed very happy to be there. I’m also surprised her neck took the weight of all those beads.

    I loved Steve Archibald’s body language in his interview with Simes, let alone his refusal to even look at the school teacher.

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    1. i was actually living in the bournemouth/poole area at this time and played in several bands (that did their own material as opposed to covers) during my time there. and contrary to general belief (and particularly the national music press) that it was merely god's waiting room and a music-free zone, there was in fact an extremely active and vibrant local music scene happening there. and the poole arts centre (where junior presumably played) was highly respected at the time as one of the best live venues on the south coast, and all the major acts would play there as part of any uk tour. so there, arthur!

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    2. Sorry, Wilby. My bad. I forgot that's your old manor. A friend of mine collects dolphin paraphernalia and loves Poole due to their dolphin connections. In my clumsy way, I was trying to say it was an unusual event for Radio 1 to broadcast live, a Friday teatime gig (about 6.30) from Poole Arts Centre, within the first ten minutes of which Junior said "I've always wanted to play Poole". Maybe he did, due to having relatives there or maybe having enjoying holidays in the area.

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    3. arthur there may be more than a subjective slant to my views here, and like others from elsewhere in the country i can understand you perceiving the area as a culture-free zone. but just to say that having got frustrated with the fact that the bmth/poole local music scene with its many and varied bands was consistently ignored by the capital's arbiters of taste, i decided to move to north london where (admittedly in my naivity) i thought i might have much more of a chance of "making it". but the fact was that what little local music scene was there was so pathetic that it made the bournemouth one look like merseybeat!

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    4. and another thing: although bournemouth may have been a no-go area for the likes of "NME" and "sounds" journalists back in the early 80's, on bank holidays spandau ballet and their entourage (including fashion designers and writers for the trendier magazines such as "the face") that was known as "the firm" would descend on the town en masse for some wild partying!

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    5. I'm pretty sure there was mention on here of Blue Rondo A La Turk having Bournemouth connections. It's probably even more lively now due to growing as a university town (city?). A jazz / Northern Soul loving workmate regularly attends a weekender held once a year at a Bournemouth hotel, best known for its silent disco where everyone wears headphones and dances / sings along to the tune they're hearing till 4 in the morning. Thing is, a number of different tunes are being fed through the 'phones to the revellers at the same time!

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    6. yes arthur, blue rondo (who were very much part of "the firm") had a bournemouth connection as their saxist moses mount bassie (whose given name was the much less exotic tony gordon!) came from there. i remember they played there a couple of times back then amid much ballyhoo (i wasn't trendy enough to attend!)

      sadly no actual band from that area ever really made it. but there were a few individuals who did - having had to move to "that london" of course. that included robert fripp, andy summers, al stewart, john wetton... and tony blackurn!

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  11. Uploaded this a few months ago on my vimeo account ;-) https://vimeo.com/155177946

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    1. You mean 13th May 1982 with DLT that we'll not see on BBC4. Thanks for uploading this. When will the blog for this be put up?

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  12. I'd forgotten what a classy song Depeche Mode's 'The Meaning of Love' is. Lyrically witty and articulate, and musically intelligent, it deserved to climb much higher than No.12. With its rich vocal arrangement and major-sixth ending, it could easily be covered by The Puppini Sisters. Go and play 'The Chop Waltz' on your walking piano, Sir Paul!

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  13. Just a thought - If the EWCS had gone with the far superior "This Time" on this appearance it might just have give them a week at the top in which case they'd have set a record with consecutive releases getting to number one 12 years apart.

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  14. Just a thought - If the EWCS had gone with the far superior "This Time" on this appearance it might just have give them a week at the top in which case they'd have set a record with consecutive releases getting to number one 12 years apart.

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  15. It just occurred to me that last year in 1981 Tottenham Hotspur's song in the TOTP studio was laden with the Legs & Co girls interspersed with the footballers on stage, and so this time round in 1982 with no Legs & Co in the fold, Spurs had obviously wanted a similar fabric and must have brought in their own girls in yellow so that they could keep up the high standards on stage!

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  16. Well, I've managed to see practically all of this show - in bits - even the Paul McCartney interview! Only PhD and a couple or three links have proved elusive.

    A right old mish-mash of highs and lows, this one. Sorry, but all that football stuff - and I've never said this before throughout these re-runs - added up to ten minutes of my life I'll never get back. At least the Chas & Dave one had a memorable hook (well I've remembered it since 1982) but was ruined here by Mick's plastic hi-hat clicking away. Are these things really much quieter than real ones?

    The Junior and Patrice Rushen songs were pleasant enough - the latter sounds somewhat '1979' to me, but if that was the case then it would have been live with an 'interesting' arrangement from the TOTP Orchestra...

    I rather liked this Depeche Mode number at the time but it's not in the same league as the Vince Clarke stuff. Kenny Everett wouldn't have been very impressed with their pedestrian tape speed ("gungey quality" he used to call it).

    I haven't had a chance to comment on Tight Fit before, because when they were last on I was frantically playing catch-up, but like others on here I've been rather taken with Denise and Julie. I don't know how tall Steve Grant is (you're gonna tell me he's five foot nothing...) but the girls look well impressive alongside him. Why was Julie called 'Chopper'? Was she a bit of a bike?

    As for Simon Bates, he did better here than on his previous car crash of a live show (though to be fair, neither he nor anybody else involved in the production was to know that the show would be nitpicked more than three decades later). But only just.

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    1. i could be deluding myself here, but i'm sure a while back whilst doing some "research" in the interests of these shows i found out that (unsurprisingly for a pofessional model and dancer) julie harris was quite tall for a woman at 5' 7". but even with high heels on she's still at least a couple of inches shorter than steve, which must make him at least 6 feet. but given he also started out as a model that's hardly a shock either

      as for the "chopper" nickname: nice one 20th, but the real reason for it has been given elsewhere in these pages (clue: famous chelsea footballer of same surname)

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    2. interesting that you think of patrice's track sounding 1979: at that point most disco records were heavily-laden with orchestral arrangements (particularly when it came to string sections) and the stuff she was recording back then was no exception. but by 1981 orchestras had pretty much totally been replaced by synthesisers, and again patrice was one of those who went in that direction. there actually was a page on wikipedia that went into this subject in great detail, but sadly i can't find it now!

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  17. Does anyone else here remember the flop football song in the trio? Dana and the Northern Ireland 1982 World Cup Squad failed to crack the chart with “Yer Man” (“When yer man gets the ball / Northern Ireland has it all”).

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    1. I know very little about football but QPR played in the cup final with Spurs that year. Did they release their own song? Did it chart?

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  18. An entertaining if eclectic edition, although Bates was doing his best to ruin it as usual. As well as the gaffe re Steve Archibald referred to above (and I must admit that I thought Tony burrows had done 3 appearances in one show too, but 2 still counts for Bates to be wrong!) he also got very excited about the England performance being 'the most ever people on stage' on TOTP even though it surely can't have been, and then it looked like there were more people there for the Spurs song minutes later anyway, which went unmentioned!!

    Junior - It's one of those that I can't get too excited about but it's pleasant enough.

    Depeche Mode - This one passed me by at the time, I heard someone playing it on University Radio and it's since become a bit of a favourite.

    England - Trevor Brooking wisely keeping out of this, I notice. This is basically a 3 minute advert for BA when what we really want to hear is the flip side.

    Tight Fit - I have always loved this, since the day I heard it. A blatant ABBA copy even down to the 'a-ha' bits, but as they weren't sounding like their old selves in 1982, I think that's fair enough!
    By the way, my favourite lyric is '...love on an island, surrounded by sea..' - are there any other kind?!

    I don't talk about Sp*rs, so..

    Patrice Rushen - 'Come and get your black bin bags, on offer 'til December'. That's what I always think of, thanks to Dave Spikey & Peter Kay! It hasn't ruined the song for me, mind you, as I was never that taken by it.

    Scotland - Reluctantly, I have to say that I rather like it, even though poor John Gordon Sinclair has to mime to his slightly odd vocal. It's endearing whereas their later efforts became maudlin.

    Nice of Sir Wacky Macca to have his thumbs aloft, as per Smash Hits convention. Thankfully he didn't treat us to a rendition of his awful No.1

    I thought the end song wasn't too bad for the performers being swamped - the Nanas look was designed to be normal anyway and Terry Hall is clearly even less arsed than usual!

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    1. Re EWCS being the largest ensemble on TOTP, possible contenders by 1982 would be CCS, the Radha Krishna Temple and The Royal Scots Dragoon Guards. Any others?

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    2. St.Winifreds School Choir possibly, though I don't think they had that many of them on stage.

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    3. The Simon Park Orchestra might be a contender.

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    4. Wasn't The Simon Park Orchestra really just the Top Of The pops Orchestra in puke-coloured nylon roll neck sweaters, and with a different conductor of course.

      Talking of Simon Park. Somewhere I have his 1974 album Something In The Air which chillingly features a photo of the view of New York from Twin Towers on the cover and the first track is Funeral For A Friend.

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    5. under his own name and pseudonym of simon haseley, mr park wrote and recorded some brilliant funky library music pieces (most of which were used as incidental music in "the sweeney")... a far cry from "eye level"!

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    6. Bama - you may well be right about the SPO being Pearson's mob, as we have seen them wearing the same kinds of sweaters on some of the late 70s shows.

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    7. Simon Haseley is responsible for some excellent pieces of library music, many of which feature on NFL videos. Several are on YouTube, my own favourites being Golden City and World Power.

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    8. One of his library music themes was used as the theme to the panel game Whodunnit.

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  19. Sluggy Simon, Craig Fairtarse and some bearded nit in a nasty yellow zoot suit - it must be Top of The Pops!

    I could be wrong but I think this edition could be live but Slimon only mentioned it about 890 times. I loved this Junior song at the time although I didn't buy it but it is really evocative of the era and I danced to it many times. The cheerleaders seem very much in force today as though they were taking over, taking advantage of the live situation. I'm not sure I would have wanted to have been an ordinary crowd member here, I might have felt a bit intimidated.

    Depeche Mode The Meaning of Love brings back a lot of memories. Regular readers may recall that I worked for a film research company in Soho at the time, we provided the footage for the Bowie/Queen Under Pressure video (the one they never showed in full). We also provided stuff for a few other pop videos and one was The Meaning of Love. It was directed by no lesser figure than Julian Temple and I met him. There is a bit in the video where Dave Gahan looks down a microscope and the heads of the other band members are superimposed on microbes. We had to supply endless films of microbes which I got from the University College Hospital Film library until he found the one he wanted. It took ages to find and it only lasts about 5 seconds in the finished video.

    We'll Fly The Flag was a dreadful mess and everyone concerned should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. I'm sure I recall seeing the old geezer with Jimmy Savile on one previous show. It seems a bit cruel to shows bits of the 1966 final.

    Jim Diamond reminds me of someone I can't quite think who it is. It could be Lee Mavers from The Las or Munch from 2 Pints Of Lager. This still sounds good today, shame they had to fade it when it got to the crescendo. Not sure I care for Jim's leather strides or his nasty jacket.

    Next it's ABBA, oh no its Tight Fit. I have no memory of this at all from the time. It's actually a very catchy piece of pop and a good performance.

    More footie nonesense with Chas and Dave. Why wasn't the QPR record on the show? Did they do one? There's so much going on here it's hard to take it all in but it seems better rehearsed than the England song and there's always the distraction of girls in stockings and suspenders and someone dressed as Spur's mascot.

    In the chart rundown, Chas and Dave's drummer Mick Burt looks a bit like Van Morrison although was the complete opposite in real life by all accounts.

    Then Patrice Rushen with the cheerleaders back again. Mr Zoot Suit is on hand here along with some twerp in a beret and Jeff Stewart from The Bill if my eyes don't deceive me. Loved this to bits at the time and still love it today.

    The middle bit of the chart. Oh look, Elton John's "hit" is no longer "a hit" as it's gone down to number 19 this week.

    Not sure why Scott Walker is standing behind Slimon. It's a shame he didn't sing as it might have made up for all the dire football anthems, including the Scottish one, perhaps the worst of the trio. I can just about forgive John Gordon Sinclair for his role in this (with him being cute and all that) but BA Robertson hogs the stage and the camera again with his dreadful miming antics and aviator shades work. I really hate BA Robertson.

    The Top Ten and then a quickie with Joan Jett. A shame she and The Blackheads weren't on the show. Instead we get the Macca and Stevie video again but then inexplicably Macca turns up with Linda wearing red stripes. I love Slimon's inane conversation with them, he really doesn't know what to say to them does he? "What are you doing next?". Macca: [says]"We're on our way home [thinks] as we just told you you fat slug". But he stays around long enough to sign a few autographs.

    Meanwhile Bananarama and the FB3 mime badly to their hit and Terry genuinely looks like he wants to be somewhere else.

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    1. QPR (or QPArse as us Brentford fans call them) released a single in 1972 but I don't think they released one at this time.

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    2. perhaps the lovely linda was so clad as some kind of publicity stunt to promote her alter ego "suzy and the red stripes"? if so then it was a bit belated as the single "seaside woman" (written by the lovely linda herself i'll have you know - whoever suggested the woman had no musical talent whatsoever?) came out about five years earlier. if anyone's not aware of it, it's a classic entry in the cod-reggae canon:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgdSSpBN_qQ

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    3. The more I see the Fun Boy Three and Bananarama, and hearing Bama say that Terry Hall did not want to be there, it makes me think that Bananarama were using Fun Boy Three to break into the music scene and pop chart stardom, like FB3 were the vehicle they needed. Or it could have been that these Fun 'Boys' met the girls outside of work, and what with Neville taking a liking to Karen (see on the video Neville pinching Karen's bottom), it could have been a case of 'you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours', as one could have been trying to seduce the other, i.e., one for breaking into the pop world, and reciprocally the other looking for a new girlfriend!
      Everything seemed to centre around Neville, and so this probably explains why Terry Hall looked like he did not want to be there!

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    4. To be fair Terry Hall often looked glum, it was part of his act but in this case he looks genuinely pissed off.

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    5. Wilberforce - Seaside Woman later featured on the Frog Song VHS release, together with another Linda track, The Oriental Nightfish. I remember watching the video in the school hall one rainy lunchtime (they knew how to torture kids there), and when the animation for the latter song came on it featured a woman who loses all her clothes! The teacher turned it off at that point...

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